Relationships are a mirror

Dear Aditya,

A few days ago, I found myself reflecting on how relationships work like mirrors. Sometimes, they show you your best self, your patience, kindness, or humor. Other times, they reflect parts of you you'd rather not see, your impatience, fear, or pride. But no matter what they reveal, they always teach you something.

Recently, I caught up with a friend. We hadn't had a chance to hang out spaciously for quite a while, and over this conversation she shared how deeply disturbed she felt about everything happening in the world. "It's like there's this weight I can't shake off," she said.

I listened, trying to offer what little comfort I could. But as the conversation unfolded, I realized something. In trying to support her, I wasn't just helping her navigate her thoughts, I was confronting my own. Her words mirrored the unease I hadn't fully acknowledged in myself. Somewhere in those exchanges, the lines blurred, and I walked away feeling lighter, as though she had unknowingly given me a gift too.

It's funny how life works, isn't it? Sometimes, you think you're giving when, in reality, you're also receiving. It reminds me of a quote by Albert Camus: "Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present."

If I had to use a metaphor, I'd say relationships are like a potter's wheel. Each interaction shapes and reshapes us, smoothing out the rough edges of our ego, teaching us to be softer, more patient, and more aware. Ask my mother, she's a ceramic artist and most of her day goes in working with clay, what she transforms, I've heard from her, transforms her too.

Think about mentorship at work. It's easy to think of it as a one-way street, where the mentor imparts wisdom and the mentee absorbs it. But the best mentors will tell you they've learned just as much, if not more, from their mentees.

Try this simple tool: The Exchange Journal. Start with a blank page and draw two columns. In the first column, write down moments where you've supported, helped, or given to someone recently. In the second column, write what you gained in return.

And here's my question for you to reflect on after trying it: What surprised you the most about what you received through giving?

In fratitude,
adi