Being cool and not trying to

Hey Aditya,

Can we talk about something slippery?

I want to discuss this thing called, coolness. Being cool.

Yeah, that word we all throw around, but don't really know what we mean.

Here's the weird part: The more you want to be cool, the less you are. And even the people we all think are cool? They'd probably shrug and say, "Meh, I dunno."

One way to look at it is that cool is the opposite of heated.

Back in the day, when a car engine overheated, you had to stop. Let it cool. No steam, no drama. That's the kind of cool I'm talking about. When you're too eager, too anxious, too reactive, you lose your cool.

Then there's the in-the-know kind of cool. The one wearing the right things, lip-syncing the trending sound, making it look effortless. Always one step ahead of the next thing.

And then there's the glow-up kind of cool. The underdog musician who suddenly blows up. The entrepreneur who goes viral overnight. That moment of crossing over, it sparkles. (It's cool because it wasn't forced.)

But here's the thing no one tells you:

Try too hard and you're a wannabe. Don't try at all and you're invisible. So where's the sweet spot?

Maybe… cool is having curiosity. Cool is knowing who you are, and not shouting about it. Cool is not being stuck, in moods, in opinions, in time.

A recent study found that cool people, across cultures, share six things: Extroversion, pleasure-seeking, a sense of power, adventurousness, openness, and autonomy.

But honestly? Coolness is a kind of ease. It's freedom without trying to prove you're free. It's joy that doesn't need a photo. It's rebellion without a cause, or maybe with one.

So here's what I want to say to you: You're already cool.

Most likely, you just forgot. Or no one told you. Or you've been busy being everything else.

You don't have to try to be cool. You just have to stop trying not to be yourself.

And maybe, just maybe, let your curiosity lead the way today. Learn something you didn't plan to. Say yes to something small. Let a feeling pass through without locking it down.

That's it. That's the secret.

In fratitude,
adi